Witty quotes about life. Witty

21 Clever Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Witty quotes about life

Mencken Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache. Jerry Seinfeld Jim Carrey Funny Behing every is a woman rolling her eyes. Fran Lebowitz My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice. Groucho Marx Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

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444 Funny Quotes From The World's Funniest People :)

Witty quotes about life

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips. Ricky Gervais My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. Well, not fire, that would be dangerous. George Carlin Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Burns If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance. Ellen DeGeneres My point is,. Sometimes this is for the best, but it can be dangerous. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly.

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50 Best Funny Life Quotes & Popular Sayings About Life To Help You Stay Positive

Witty quotes about life

Robin Williams I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy. Jon Stewart Religion is far more of a choice than homosexuality. George Carlin Groucho Marx Funny I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. If people go through life with a negative attitude then they will surely attract negativity. When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. For this reason, we created the following collection of magnificently funny quotes about life. Steven Wrigh Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week.

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444 Funny Quotes From The World's Funniest People :)

Witty quotes about life

Sicilian Proverb It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them. Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be. Mark Twain A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. George Carlin Clothes make the man. Tina Fey It will never be perfect, but. Rodney Dangerfield I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

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70 Brilliantly Funny Quotes about Life

Witty quotes about life

It makes sense to get all of the shouting and bawling out of the way before you go off to sleep. Will Ferrell Woody Allen If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans. If a person really wants to live, the medicine is helpless. ~ Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. Some speak the truth, and others are just noise. Steven Wright The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so. Joan Rivers When nothing is going right, go left.

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Cool 40 Short Funny Quotes about Life and Short Funny Life Status of all Time

Witty quotes about life

Alexis George is a writer who covers astrology, pop culture, quotes and relationship topics. More Funny Quotes About Love And Marriage A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Reality continues to ruin my life. A few years later, he started his first website to share his passion for quotes. That is the reason one should never marry. Nerve cells are born and die, and fat cells — live forever! Funny Quotes About School, Education Or In A Yearbook I spent 113 880 hours of my life for a paper and a handshake.

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21 Clever Quotes That Will Make You Laugh

Witty quotes about life

Laugh until you gasp for breath. Or at least give you one joke to go to bed with. It throws curveballs at you and drags you down. Steven Wright I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I was born to live, not please everyone. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

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